Wednesday....

Salam...

Wednesday...rabu..hari yg membawa segala kenangan padaku..

It has been 13 weeks that she left us..(semoga Allah merahmati rohnya...amin)

My sis left us on this same day..wednesday...7th of October 2009..1 week before my birthday...sadly she can't make it until that day...hmm..

Yesterday...i dreamt of her...
She was lying on her bed..talking to me..
even though i don't quite remember what were we talking about..
But when i woke up..my eyes were wet..i cried...while sleeping...i do miss her..

This evening...i talked to my mum..
She said that she will take care of me and make sure that i am safe before she get back after sending me off to the school this Monday..
She said that any mother will have their worries to let their own children at a new place..especially daughter...
And she said that she will always take care of me until she can't..as rite now, i can only depends on her n dad...only..

Then....i open my story..what my late sister always talked to me..when we were alone..
she said that " Mak ngan abah akan jadi kaya kalo kaklong mati nanti.." she said that a few months before she'd been diagnosed with cancer..

Somehow..we can't see that death is just around the corner..(if we can..abislaa..sumer mesti jadi insaf..eheh)..but sometimes..the smallest thing that we said...might become true..so..be careful what u said after this..eheh..

apa nih..arfah melalut..huhu...sbb thinking of her makes me wanna write something n just let go and write what i want to write...wlaupun ayat mcm tunggang langgang..isi berterabur sana sini..huhuhu..

okelah...apa2 pun..
Selamat menyambut tahun baru calendar gregory..ehehe..
Bersyukurlah kita semua kerana berjaya hidup sepanjang thn 2009 dan
beramal sepanjang tahun 2009 ini..
Sesungguhnya masih byk terdapat lagi yg perlu aku baiki...dan insyaAllah akan berubah sedikit demi sedikit untuk tahun 2010 pula..

Byk azam yg perlu dpenuhi..
mudah mudahan..tahun 2010 akan memberikan aku
keinsafan
perbanyakkan beramal kepada Allah SWT
dimurahkan rezeki
kehidupan yg mudah
berjaya dalam kehidupan
dan berbakti pada kedua ibu bapa..

semoga aku berjaya melakukannya dan kita semua pun...
oke?..
alhamdulillah...

Salam..

A call from guru besar....

Salam...
td after balik dr kampung..arrived around 11 am..agak mengantuk..
so terus tido (apa laa anak dara nih)..around kol 2 lebih bangun..

then i heard the phone rang...dgr bunyi abah bercakap..then suddenly...mak ketuk pintu..kata..
"nomi..cepat turun..call dr sekolah tuh.."
aku pon a bit terkejut la...coz i was thinking that my father's fren yg call..sbb dia dok gelak2 kat bawah..

then..dia state my full name, my phone number...then dia bgtau la..
"kamu dapat sk sri rengit kat area batu pahat.., kene dtg taklimat kat sk parit raja pada 4 hb nih kol 9...pastu kira masuk sekolah terus la.......

cari Cikgu Hjh Salbiah bt Jaafar, GPK1 nnt masa taklimat tuh..."

tanya punya tanya..lupa tanya psl rumah sewa...huhu..sib baik ada no phone sekolah..so..2moro call nak tanya psl umah sewa dekat area2 tuh...

so..basically...alhamdulillah..dekat ngan bt pahat..means dekat la kl...

so..td tgk dah blog sk sri rengit...
nice school...n mcm sek bukit merah a bit..oke laa..
murid dlm 395 pelajar jer..so..assumed setiap darjah ada 2 kelas laa...

n Intan call td..dia pon area bt pahat gaks..dpn bgnan PPD lg..area bandar sket...
kalo dekat..leh duk serumah..ahaha...
insyaAllah..

n Zul dapat area geylang patah...so..x leh la serumah (ahahaha..)

later sambung lagi k..
bubye..
wish me luck..

jokes of the day....

Salam..
tbe2 nak tulis entry nih pulak...

hari nih dok lapak2 kat living hall ngan aki, mak ngan abah...tok ada dlm bilik..

mak cerita lah...td mak kata pinggang dia lenguh...pastu tok pon kata, pinggang dia pun lenguh...

tbe2 aki pon kata...

"ok la tuh..pinggang..
yg hari tuh lg pelik...dia ngadu sakit gigi..mana datang sakit gigi dia pun x tau.."

aku x leh tahan..terus gelak..aki aku pon sengih jer..
mana takner..tuk aku tuh mana ada gigi..mcm ner plaks kata sakit gigi..hehehe

legend:
tuk : nenek
aki: datuk

buat yg konpius la...ehehe...

eheh..

Can I?...

Salam...

hmm..sepanjang berada kat kampung nih dalam x sampai 2 hari dah...
aku terlihat satu situasi yang sangat menguji minda dan emosi serta keyakinan diri aku...

mampukah aku menjaga ibuku sebagaimana ibuku menjaga nenek ku?..sebagaimana ibuku menjaga kakak ku?..

Kasih sayang seorang ibu terhadap anaknya..sehinggakan dia sanggup menjaga, membasuh, memandikan, mendukung, memapah anaknya yg sedang sakit..tidak berdaya untuk bangun..membuatkan aku bisa menitiskan air mata..

Sewaktu kecil..anak itu senang di dukung, dijaga, disalinkan pakaian, dibasuh beraknya, kencingnya, ditukarkan lampinnya, disuapkan makanan....dan walapun sudah besar..semasa sakit..kakak ku masih di jaga sedemikian rupa..membuatkan ku terfikir..mampukah aku menjaga ibuku seperti ibuku menjaga kakakku?...

kasih sayang seorang ibu yang tanpa berbelah bahagi membuatkan ku rasa terharu..dan memikirkan betapa pentingnya nilai kasih sayang dalam diri seseorang..

Di kampung pula, melihat ibuku menjaga nenekku yang telah diserang angin ahmar..membuatkkannya lumpuh separuh badan..memakaikannya lampin, baju, memberi makanan..mendukung..memandikan..membuatkan aku terfikir lagi..kasih sayang seorang anak juga sngt penting..
naluri seorang ibu...seorang anak perempuan amat berbeza dengan naluri lelaki..

seorang perempuan menunjukkan kasih sayangnya dengan perbuatan dan menunjukkannya..tetapi lelaki lebih kepada melihat dan memberikan sokongan kebendaan dari belakang..

seorang wanita..perempuan memiliki hati yang halus..mereka mudah tersentuh, mudah mengalirkan air mata..dan dari segi penjagaan ini..mereka sanggup berkorban..
ibu, anak, perempuan, isteri..satu kelebihan dan darjat yang tingg diberikan...bukanlah bebanan yang sukar dipikul..jika dilakukan dengan penuh keikhlasan...

Hmm...agak meleret kali nih posting aku..eehhe..mungkin sbb hujan sepanjang hari kat pekan, pahang nih..ehehe...membuatkan aku jd sentimental sket..
terus terang aku lebih suka suasana yang ceria, gembira...aku x suka suasana yang sunyi..sbb kesunyian akan membawa kedukaan..

adakalanya kita mahu bersendiri..tetapi sebenarnya..kita memerlukan sokongan dari pelbagai pihak..nobody can live alone in this world..they need supports..

Hmm...ingat masa dulu2..zaman sekolah menengah...aku merupakan anak bongsu yg keras kepala..pemarah..degil..penangis..perajuk..semua yg negative adalah kat aku nih..sikit2 nak meninggikan suara..tp aku punya satu kelebihan..pandai memujuk..ahaha...abah aku yg panas baran tuh slalu jer kalah ngan aku..ahaha..kalo dulu adik beradik aku slalu kne rotan sbb x wat keje sekolah..aku x pernah lagi (mungkin sbb tuh aku ngada2)..ahaha..

tp aku buktikan..walaupun aku jenis cenggeng...aku masih boleh berjaya..dan mampu membuatkan parents aku x risau akan diriku..i can take care of myself..hopefully..
n almost seluruh negeri m'sia nih aku dah pernah pergi...cuma sabah jer blom..mebi nxt year kot..insayAllah..

ingat lagi masa orientation kat IPTB..ckp kat Sir Kamal..'sy nih x leh duk diam..mesti berjalan..i love to travel.."

and now its my time to go to Johor...wish me luck..

N to all my frens..n anyone that think they are are my frens...
i wish u all the best jugak!!...ehehe

Love and appreciate all the pople around us....we'll never know when will they leave us..
Maaf di pinta jika ada salah dan silap..
secara sedar atau tidak..
sesungguhnya saya bukan maksum..
saya masih manusia biasa yang selalu melakukan kesilapan..

naper ek sy dok ayat minta2 maaf nih..ehehe
sbb nak mulakan perjalanan..nak memulakan tugas sebagai guru..
harap2 hati dan diri nih bersih..huhu
tbe2 rasa diri nih mcm byk kesalahan..huhu..

apa2pun..
berundur dulu..
Salam..

~ The E Moments ~

Salam..

Walaupun dah lepas baper hari...br nak upload pics kat sini..ehehe
Majlis Bertunang antara

Lelaki : Mohd Helmi b Yazid
Perempuan : Arfahazwar bt Mohamed Yusop

Tarikh: 19. 12. 2009
Tempat: Rumah pihak perempuan Bt Caves
Masa: 2.00 ptg (lepas solat Zohor)

inilah antara gambar yg sempat d rakamkan...

nie lah bilik yg dah siap d decorate nih..
(guna bilik arwah sis...huhu..miss her)

barangan yg akan d gunakan...

opps..rombongan lelaki dah sampai ler..hhuu
(aku dlm bilik time nih..tgh d grooming)

tgh pas sirih kot....

(perbincangan antara 2 pihak..huhu)


ha..tgh d grooming oleh sakura pink la nih...
(eheh..macih ler datang..)


selamat d tunangkan...
(tgn keras..sbb tatoot..ehehe)


Pas tu..berjamuan makan...silakan2
(x sempat makan..sbb abis cepat..huhu)

Nilah antara hantaran yg aku bg...kami berbalas 5-7 jer...x da barang2..kecuali manisan2 jer..
hantaran belah perempuan..semuanya di buat oleh aku ngan mak sahaja...
ehehe..hasil kerja 100%..
ada nak tempah gubahan hantaran?..ehehe

hantaran gula2 ngan jeli2
(nih 100% aku wat..sbb tu childish sket)


nie kek coklat
(hadiah dr mak ndak..macih..)


nie kek lapis s'wak (masam manis)
ngan kek coklat cheese
(hadiah dr makcik kama..macih jugak..
nak oder kek2 nih pon bole..dia mmg niaga..
opps..promote plak..ehe)


Nie buah2an, coklat ngan bekas cincin lelaki
(pun d buat oleh kami..ehehe..)

n..sirih junjung..lupa plak nak amek..mak wat gubahan...huhuhu


dan last skali....ehehe

mak ngan aku..
(sayang mak..eheh)


pic me n him..

pastu...
insyaAllah tarikh berlansungnya mungkin..

05. 06. 2010 (sabtu)

Pada tarikh tuh jugaklah besday abah..ehehe..
okeh laa...tuh ja yg sempat d upload..

doakan kami d permudahkan urusan ke jinjang pelamin...

Aii...merajukkah dia?

Salam..
post ini ku tujukan wat si dia yg kurasakan merajuk tuh...

huhu..bkn malas nak jumper..tp x berkesempatan laa...huhuhu..
lusa dah nak balik kg...ahad baru balik sini..

Isnin tuh pon x pasti lagi..sbb x tau bile nak kene daftar kat JPN nih...huhuhu...

nnt kita cari peluang k..jgn la majuk k..

tau..nak sambut besday sama2...
28.12.09 nih besday kan?...
huhu..nnt org try wat kek..ehehe..

apapun..jgn merajuk k cik tunang..ehehe..

sayang awak..

Preparations...

Salam..
now tinggal lagi lbh kurang 1 hari setengah jer for me to be engaged wif him..
sekarang apa jer ek yg tinggal...hmm..kemas bawah jelah..tolak2 perabot..other than that say it all finnished...

tema ek...boleh la d katakan 'gold+choclate+cream'..ehehe..warna tuh dgunakan coz dulu masa abg aku kawen dah pakai..so byk la items yg boleh d kitar semula..jimat beb...

n again..td masa g giant bt caves..masa dah nak balik..i've got a called from my frens..cik Jismin...dia keje as a PTD..n she asked me my full name and my ic no. I asked her what is it for..then she said, 'Kak Apah nak tau posting ka dak?..kalo nak..bg no ic.'. Mestilah nak..then i gave her my ic no..and she said that, she will call me later on for the results..berdebar gaks nih nak tau..

Then..around 9 something..she called me..but i didnt answered..coz tgk tv..eeheh...citer 'Jangan Tegur...lagi'. Then nampak no dia missed call...terus la call dia balik..mula2 tuh berbasa basi la..then straight to the point..
"Kak Apah..akak dapat Johor...kat sek mana x tau lg..nnt kene lapor diri kat JPN johor laa..Jis check kat kwm kat KPM td.."
" Ha?..Johor?...huhu..oke..thanks Jis.."

tulah secara ringkasnya my stori de mori...
n..a bit sad jugak laa..coz..jauh lagi ngan my mom n dad...huhuhu...prefer kalo jauh..biar jauh betol..so x leh nak balik every weekend...nih masih leh balik tetiap minggu nih yg susah tuh..bajet mesti lari sket..

N..terlupa laks nak cerita..td col Pak Yad...bdk opsyen PA..dia mintak Labuan..but he didnt get that, instead he get Sabah..ala..senegeri gaks..
He told me that he got a school in Sandakan area...tp jauhnyer berkm2 laa dr Sndakan tuh..kalo nak masuk pon..kene nek lori balak. Murid dlm 130 org ngan guru dlm 17 org termasuk dia laa. Dia kene start masuk dah 1/1 nnt...n dia dah beli dah Hilux...konon nak senang jalan laa nnt...but he was lucky coz gaji derang start bln 12 hr tuh..baguslah...utk kami nih..bln 1 la kot start..aii..lambat la pulak. Lupa lagik..dia adalah Pedalaman 2..kira okeh laa tuh..n murid Islam dlm 50 org je...

Hmm..dah masuk friday dah..opps..lupa nak bgtau..
This Saturday ni..im getting engaged..pas Zohor insya-Allah majlis dia..
siapa yg free jemputlah datag ke rumah k..ada sket jamuan makan2...
alamat?
mintak ler..ehehe..segan nak publish kat sini..ehehe

Okelah..dah lewat..nak titot dah..nite all..
Salam..

Alhamdulillah...

Salam..
aku masih lagi di Penang...hari nih dah nak balik dah..

Smlm..ada intervies utk sahkan jawatan..Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Pelajaran (SPP) kol 7.30 pg kat bilik 1..library.

Smlm..ikut giliran..

1. Pn Azwan Normiza
2. Pn Sri Priya
3. Pn Roshayaty
4. Pn Nurussana
5. Cik Jayanthy
6. Pn Premanandini
7. Cik Arfahazwar
8. Pn Intan Shaeeraz
10. Tn Azman (bdk KS)

Semuanya dlm 30 mint sesi..bayangkan kol 8.30 pg baru mula...pastu dia rehat pas K.Ana abis..sambung balik 30 min kemudian...huhuhu...
aku abis kol 12.20 mcm tuh...

Panel kami ada 2 org..aku pon kurang ingat nama mereka..ehehe
Pn. Amariah (pekrja SPP) ngan Tn....(gb sekolah)..tp derang nih sporting sngt lah bagi aku..ngan kami nih..soklan2 dia x lah susah2..byk tanya psl KBSR, Pipp..ngan lesson plan. Adalah sekt2 yg kene tanya psl nama menteri, TOV, head count..

tapi..i would say that i'm lucky..sbb time aku dia ajak borak2 jer..huhuu..alhamdulillah..

ehehe..sempat citer psl buku rph ilang..kete kne pecah..apa mr.raja ckp masa prktikum..cara aku mengajar...psl cikgu sek aku dulu...psl pengalaman mengajar kat SKDUA dulu..seronoklah jugak..dia cuma bg nasihat..hormati pentadbiran, ingat murid2 adalah core business kita.

Alhamdulillah..
pastu..dah abis apa lagik..aku pon berjalan2 wif familli..sampai balik hotel smlm dlm kol 12 lebih..mandi2 tido..ehehe

manataknyer..g padang besar..g pekan rabu..g umah pakcik aku kat bndr darulaman..dia ada baby baru..mohd. firhad..dah 4 org ank dia lelaki..ehehhe

okehlaa...nak pack..nak balik kl dah nih...
jumpa d umah..bubye..
n all my frens..IPTB's frens...see u in Convocation!!!

salam..

9 Nyawa :: by Ramlee Awang Murshid

Salam..
novel nih baru lagik..
utk cetakan 2010..
Ramlee Awang Murshid adalah novelis Thriller Nombor 1 Malaysia..

Antara novel yg ditulisnya ialah...
Tombiruo
Tombiruo Terakhir
Unggu Karmila
Mikhail
Rahsia Perindu
Semangat Hutan...dll

Antara novel dia yg aku dah baca ialah..
Tombiruo
Unggu Karmila
Rahsia Perindu
Mikhail
dan latest..9 Nyawa

Aku gemar folo novelis nih...citer dia mmg aliran akuler..ehehe..
i like thriller novels..

prev read Sidney Sheldon..ala..dah lupa tajuk plaks...huhu..but his novel besh sngt..
ingat slama nih novelis dia adalah perempuan..n psl chenta2...so..mmg x pernah terlintas laa nak baca..
but hr tuh masa Kak An pgg novel tuh...cover dia sngt menarik...so bila tanya Shida Shariff...dia kata "two thumbs up!"...so..try laa baca..n yes..it was really good..
mcm nak start collecting his books jer..but maybe will starts in nxt year..ehehe..after i get my 1st salary...eheh..

opps..lupa nak habaq mai cerita psl 9 Nyawa nih pasai pa na?..ehehe

...................................................9 NYAWA...............................................................................
ditulis oleh: Ramlee Awang Murshid
1st Cetakan : 2010

Dimulakan dengan watak Intan Suryani (bkn intan shaeeraz or intan surihani yer kwn2..) yg berkali2 koma tetapi kemudian sedar semula..menyebabkan mamanya percaya bahawa dia mempunyai 9 nyawa berdasrkan sebuah mimpi. Dihitung jumlah 'nyawa' yang telah diambil daripadanya, lalu mengundang trauma. Sungguh dia tidak percaya..ketika koma, rohnya menyaksikan jasad sendiri yang terbujur kaku...

Hakim...si buta lagi yatim piatu ini menyara adiknya dengan penuh tanggungjawab. Hatinya sungguh luhur. Sesiapa sahaja akan terusik melihat keikhlasannya. Anugerah Tuhan..mata hatinya lebih 'celik'. dia bisa mendengar suara mereka yang berada id sempadan, antara hidup dan mati.

..Mereka berdua bertemu jua..di alam paranormal. pertemuan itu merungkai sebuah kisah di sebalik cerita. Kejutan demi kejutan yang tidak disangka - sangka terungkai. Dan satu persoalan lain pula muncul - mengapa mereka tidak dipertemukan lebih awal?...
...................................................................................................................................................


Setakat nih aku baru baca dlm 30 ms jer..baru beli semalam..ehehe kat KLCC Kinokuniya..lama gilerrrrrrrr x g sana..

opps..ehehe..smlm i have a date wif my bf..ehehe..
ktorng tgk 2 movies..eats McD..n ice cream..lepaking..discussing about or engagement day..

so..smlm g beli novel nih..harga dlm 19.90 jer..

okehlaa..nnt dah abis..aku bitau review dia k..rating sumer..

btw..
Gud Luck for saper2 yg bakal di interview esok..especially cik Azzah Husna kita..n Puan Shida Shariff..n..Kak Nurussna...saper lagik ek...ehehe

GUD LUCK!!..

p/s: jgn luper bitau ek..apa kene sola..nak prepare for 8th nih plaks....huhu

L.O.V.E

Salam...

Hari nih aku rasa macam - macam yang ada dalam hati nih...
Maybe aku rasa aku a it emosional hari nih..
today i cry again...i really2 miss her company...
today genap 6 minggu my sis pergi meninggalkan kami..
still i can feel she's a part of me..part of my life..

I have something to say..to talk..some advice...but now i really2 don't know to who should i tell..
today i've talked wif my boyfriend...or u can say, my future hubby...

Dulu..i don't think i will like him...not even close..
But maybe it is our fate..
he is such a wonderful guy..

he is far from my imagination of my 'right guy'..which are..
1. tall
2. nice to look at
3. at least same or higher edu from me
4. kind
5. nice
6. religious
7. respect elders
8. patient
9. talkative n funny
10. understandable

but he do have these which i can say he is the one...
1. religious (more than me)
2. nice to look at
3. respect elders and kids
4. hardworking and responsible
5. talkative n funny
6. understandable (very..)
7. listen to me..ehehhe
8. protector
9. and most of all...i like a uniform man..ehehe

And my sis approved us..she said that he will take care of me..and she also said that she can see that how much he loves me..which at that time i'm just not serious with him..yet..

nothing much to say...rather than i wanna say that i miss her and miss him..
and most of all..i do miss my family..
hmm..x saba nak balik umah...huhuhu...
saba arfah...hari rabu nih balik laa...huhu..
Ganbatte!!!

Salam...
today belajar dlm KISSM psl satu topic yg actually sngt menarik minat aku...

Emotional Intelligence or also known as EQ

"Describes the ability, capacity, skill or, in the case of the trait EI model, a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. <sup>"

Hm...ke bahasa Melayunya pulak...apa ek..kemahiran, atau skill seseorang untuk mengenalpastu, mengawal serta mengakses emosinya atau orang lain ataupun sesuatu kumpulan.

Terdapat pelbagai jenis emosi yg ada dlm diri seseorang yg boleh kita zahirkan ke dalam bentuk literasi..yg d tunjuk dlm slide tadi..almost 2,000 emotions yg bleh ada dlm seseorang individu.


Apa n kenapa aku tulis psl EQ pada posting kali ini ek?...korang mest fikir kan?....
Well...hari nih EQ ada sikit masalah..ehehe...

Byk mende dlm hati aku nih...yg sepatutnya kene keluarkan...i shouldn't keep it inside...
Rite now, i don't have someone to tell about it..i just couldnt find someone that really will listen to me...respond to me...and advised me..just like my late sister.
To tell the truth..i do really really really miss her...really2 miss her company. At this time, i surely will coll her...and let go all my emotions. She is the only person that i can rely to. No one else can't be as same as her. Not even my future hubby..

Im a secretive if u really want to know. U will never see the real side of me..or u may call it hypocrite. But not in a bad way..maybe...I want to know as a happy, bubbly person...but inside i rather like to keep everything to myself. Nobody will never know what is trembling inside me...not even my mom, dad, him. Maybe i need to go to a psychiatrist..to let someone to listen to my other side of stories...maybe..in the future..

I know, maybe a bit crazy..ahaha...i let go all my problems to God, ALLAH SWT...only he can listen to me. I don't want to be anybody's burden..especially my family. Really2 hope that she was alive...

I don't want to accused any person..any person at all...but if it is true...i really wish that either she or he get punnished of what they really did. I really want to confront them..and asks them..what on earth did she do until she have to be punnished like that???!!

If it is not true..then maybe i just want to put a blame on others...maybe..WALLAHUALAM...

Hmm....its been about 36 days she left us..and it seems just like yesterday..

Kaklong...i wish for ur happiness...i will pray, baca Yassin slalu for u..although i can say that i only visits u less than 3 times..but it doesnt mean that i dont remember you...i do..and i always do..

and as my blog's name...i am lost in a big infinity universe....

now i'm trying to make my parents happy...as they always said to me..
" Mak ngan abah tinggal dua orang jer anak dah..mak nak nomi jaga diri baik2...ko dah ada anak nnt..tahulah rasanya mcm ner..."
n..it always makes me wanna cry..and be really2 want to get close to them..

Before..i don't give any d*** if i were posted in Sabah or Swak..but now..i wanna be close to them...please..let me get posted nearby..
i want to be with them...now i appreciate my parents more..
if dulu2..slalu gaks laa bantah ckp mak..kadang2 tertinggi suara kat abah (darah muda)...
but now..i've learnt to control my temper..and speaks dearly to them...
I want to be a good daughter to them...

that's all...its already late..nak tdo dah..

nite all...opps..morning..ehehe...

Salam</sup>

huhu..x sihat...

Salam..
skrg nih ada KISSM la plaks..(Kursus induksi Sistem Saraan Malaysia)...

until 25th of November....aaihh..
dah la sakit tekak n selsema...huhuhu..


Now everyday col rumah...ckp ngan mak..eheh..
rindu family..

25 days has gone..

Salam..

It has been 25 days since my sister has passed away..

n it still feels like yesterday that i've met her...talk to her..laugh and share secrets..

Sometimes i still can't accept that she has gone away...to a better place..InsyaAllah..

Yesterday, me and my friends went out to eat at a food court in Perda. it reminds me of going out with her, gone eating together where she used to treats me Pizza Hut, Kenny Rogers, nasi campur..which ever i want to eat..she will always fulfill my appetite.

Reminds me whenever like to eat something special...i smile, grin.."Kaklong..ehehe..nak makan mcD leh?..long blanjer ek..ehehe"..then she always sigh..but still say "Yelah..kaklong blanjer"..even sometimes she don't have enough money..she always find a way to keep me happy n help me whenever i needed. She is my motivations..

There are many secrets i've told her..and same with her..many secrets that she had told me. Let me keep it a secret. Whenever i come back from IPTB or from MMU (studied there), sometimes i slept with her..share stories with her..whenever i go back..i always going out with her..balik jumaat mlm sampai umah...sabtu kuar dari pagi sampai malam..until my father complaint "baik x yah balik, serupa mcm x balik jer.." She is my only friend, partner, my girlfriend. Everything have been thought and planned wif her along...now it has to be change. How am i going to adapt to this situations?..

She is also my legs..i'm lost without her..i just don't know how to drive in KL..the roads..it all seems so lost without her. I've seldom drive in KL since after finished study..keje pon abah hantar..then moved to N9..works there for almost 1 year (tahu jln N9 jer..)..then here in Penang..then in Bukit Merah..when i was able to ronda2 KL by driving?...huhuhu..

She was the one who knows all the roads, the shops, and how to get to a place in KL..she remember almost the roads there..since she stayed in KL too long..ehehe..she studied near KL..(im in Malacca)..

Sofiahwati Mohamed Yusop..my lovely sister..

I love you, miss you, and i will always pray for you..in every solat that i did..i will never forget your name..i just want you to be blessed, and do wait for all of us to be reunite again...when the time has come.

I really love you..still i remember all your words..and moreover we have almost similar voice...

Kaklong, there are so many things that we wish to do together, but now left only me to fulfill all your wishes..And i will try my best to fulfill it as it will be my wishes now.

Bila fikir balik..there are so many things that shows that she will leave us..So many signs..

Let me tell one of the signs..

Last year, on month of december..when she bought me this lappy..she already told me that this will be my last birthday presents from her..and although it wasn't really meant that way by her..but we never know..that coincidence sometimes can be a reality..when i remember that..it makes me cry..again..

Then there was a time we both cried thinking of our future, when she was still under treatments in SJMC..she told me how hard to get her strength to fight her sickness..she told me it is so hard and sometimes she not able to hold it anymore. I always asked her to keep her strength, remember us, remember Allah SWT..we love you..we still need you..don't just give up..we just don't care even we have to take care you for our whole life..we just want you to survive. But Allah SWT love her more...don' want her to suffer. At least i'm happy she died with mom and dad by her side..di pangkuan abah. I know my parents still hard to believe that she's gone..same with me..her stuff still in the same place. My mom gives some of her belongings to me and Kak Ita, my aunts.

Hmm..can't write about her much..it makes me cry..but i just can't cry here..have to control it..be strong Arfah!!

Hmm..next week dah nak exam..then nak KISSM plaks..

Supposedly..bln 12 nih..me and my sister dah planned to buy things for my wedding later on...but now with who am i going to buy all the things?..friends?..they also have some other plans..surely they just can't accompany me each time i want to buy somethings..mom?..she's old already..she can't walk too much..hmm..my cousins?..my cousins are far in kampung..yg dekat2 sumer sekolah2 rendah lagik..hmm..im lost..x pa lah..i just do what i can..

okeh laa..keep salahkan diri sendiri je la..selama nih x berdikari..always thinking that my sis will be there for me each time i need her..always thinks that people died when they get old..never thought that they can easily gone even we are not ready..

Same with my childhood friend...Noradila bt Mohd Zawawi..died in car crash..she still so young..same age as me..26

Still remember her talks..she is so talkative, helpful..she always borrow my comic books..and said that, if i don't want it anymore, give it to her. Ahaha...still remember when she go to school with 'kunyit' on her face. We asked what is that for?..her answered it is for pimples..ehehe..naper laa x pakai kat umah jer..y pakai kat sekolah..ehehe..she is so funny, helpful, happy, talkative, a good friends,,and always remember to send us kad raya each year, invite us to her open house..even she have moved to Kajang..she still keep in touch with us..we will remember you dearly Dila..

Remember our group..

Izza, Shay, Sarah, Arfah, Dila, Zainina, Baizura...

Hmm...miss all of u guys..can we see each other?

Salam..

Hari Penutupan GERKO

Salam...

Hari nih aku masih d IPTB lagik..ada hari penutupan GERKO utk tahun nih..
kelas kami kne setup dewan..ehehe..jadi ktorng pon dok berlepak2 d dewan tuh sambil mengemas ler...

nih ada pict2 yang bleh d lihat..ehehe..sempat posing2 lagik..al-maklumlah...nnt dah x leh masuk dewan dok tangkap2 gamba dah..ehehe..ada chance..amek laa



nih kami la nih..ehehe..posing2 gitu..

Pastu..pagi still g masuk dewan..wat tagging sumer...sempat gaks amek pictures..eheh



















Hormat..ke depan hormat..ehehe

Nnt aku upload lagik pictures..ehehe
Seronok kat dlm dewan..kami pengakap..asal ada jer ahli yg naik..per lagik.."Tepuk Tepuk Tepuk Pengakap!!"

Minggu nih x balik KL sbb mak ngan abah g umah Bejam kat Kuantan..jaga cucu plaks..sbb Bejam ngan Kak Ita ada dinner..so..derang jagalah cucunya..Aqeef..ehehe..

Hmm..doakan Kaklong slalu...
Miss her so much...

Salam

In Loving memory.....

Salam...

Will treasure this pic..
She will always remebered as a good daughter, sister...to us..


In loving memory...
Sofiahwati Mohamed Yusop..
15 Julai 1977 - 7 Oktober 2009

Al-Fatihah..

(Part 3) Innalillah utk Sofiahwati Mohamed Yusop...we will miss u every seconds..

Salam..

sambung lagi...

Aku pon sampai di rumah dengan selamatnya...

aku masuk terus dalam..nampak akk aku terbujur kaku...dah berselimut..bertutup..berkain batik lepas...n my mum dok depan dia...

Aku cuba tahan nangis..tahan..jgn keluar air mata...jangan..not in front of her..

Aku salam mak..n tanya mak..
" Betul ker? doktor dah check dah?..betul ker? " I was hoping that tbe2 akk aku sedar..dia tidur jer sebelum nih...

" Betul..doktor dah sahkan tadi...dah x da nadi.." jwb mak aku sedih..
" Tp tuh nampak mcm tidur jer..ntah2 kaklong pengsan jer kot..." wpon aku tahu itu x mungkin berlaku..but i still in shock...

"Nomi nak tengok kaklong?.."
" X pe ker?...boleh?"
"Boleh..kaklong belum lagi mandi tu.." kata mak sambil membuka selendang yg tutup muka kaklong....

Bila mak buka..aku try tahan nangis.."mak..boleh nomi cium kaklong x?"
"Boleh..ciumlah..."

N i kissed her forehead...she looks like she's sleeping..
her eyes not fully closed..and still i was hoping that she speaks..or breath...
but kita kene terima jugak..qada dan qadar...just im so sad...naper cepat sangat..kaklong...u r so young..

Then..aku baca yassin...while baca yassin..aku mengalirkan air mata..cuma x teresak2 la..
While baca..abang aku sampai...then abg aku duduk sebelah aku...dia pun baca yassin...

After a while..my bf col me...said that he arrived..i just said 'ok'..don't bother bout him now...

Then..pas jer azan asar kedengaran...van jenazah dah datang nak bwk kaklong ke surau...nak mandikan dan solatkan...

I followed them..i want to be with her until she is buried...

Sementara tunggu org solat asar kat surau..aku ternampak abah aku..
then time tuh dah x leh nak tahan lagi dah...
terus aku peluk abah aku..menangis...
"Abah...kaklong...dah x da...abah...nomi x sempat jumpa..."
"Dah2..jgn menangis sayang....kita doakan kaklong k...dah..jgn nangis k..Allah sayangkan dia.."
Then..abah aku melepaskan pelukan sebab keranda kaklong dah nak bawak keluar dr van...
Aku masih lagi menangis...pastu aku d peluk oleh makcik aku...Ateh..

"Dah..jangan memngis dah..kita dokan kaklong k..."
"Nomi sedih..nomi x dpt cakap ngan kaklong...malam tuh dah col dah..mak kata kaklong tido..kalo nomi tau..nomi suruh mak kejut jugak..x sempat jumpa kaklong.." kata aku sambil menangis dlm pelukan makcik aku..

"Ateh pon x dpt jumpa gak..ateh pon sedih gak..dah2..x elok nangis..kesian kaklong...kita bukan tahu..doa jer..." pujuk makcik aku..

aku mengangguk..aku kesat air mata aku...then..aku pon ikut masuk dlm tmpt mandi jenazah..aku nak mandikan akk aku..aku nak terlibat semuanya..aku sayang akk aku..
tu jelah akak yang aku ada..sekarang aku dah x da akak...kaklong...i miss u so much...

Then situ aku tolong makcik2 tuh mandikan kaklong...bersihkan kaklong buat kali terakhir..
cuci kuku dia..basuh rambut dia..sabun badan dia...she really look like sleeping...n bila kene air kat muka..still i was hoping that dia sedar...n i know..i shouldnt think bout that...

Pastu...aku tolong kapankan akk aku...balut badan dia ngan kapas..ngan kain kapan...makcik tuh letak serbuk kayu cendana ngan minyak attar..bg wangi...then waris sumer boleh melihat dia kali terakhir sebelum di solatkan...

Aku org pertama cium dahi kaklong...since aku ada kat situ...

Pastu..mak..abah..bejam..kak ita..kawan kaklong..mak sedara dia...
masa pas kak ita cium..aku nampak kat mata kaklong ada air...
Aku assume kaklong sedih...dia nak meniggalkan kami semua sebab aku tgk x da antara kami yang mengalirkan air mata..sebab akan menyeksakan mayat nnt...

Then..kaklong dibawa utk solat jenazah...
Pastu di bawa ke tanah perkuburan...dekat jer tepi jalan..senang nak g...x susah nak cari..senang nak ziarah...Alhamdulillah...

Aku lihat bagaimana akk aku di tanam..di kambus..n tbe2 hati aku sebak melihat mak ngan abah...

sedihnya kita bila melihat anak sendiri di tanam...sedangkan kita masih lagi hidup...
betapa sayu hati seorang ibu dan ayah..anak yang di sayangi...pergi dulu sebelum diri ini..

sedangkan aku pun dah sedih melihat kaklong..inikan pula mak..yg melahirkan...abah yang memanjakan..(kaklong memang manja dengan abah..ank kesayangan abah)

Pas talkin..baca yassin sumer..kami pun bergerak..aku x sampai hati nak bergerak...
sebab aku tahu..selepas 7 langkah org terakhir meninggalkan kubur tersebut...malikat2 akan terus bertanya..
aku x sampai hati...x sanggup...aku static kat situ sambil kene panggil turun...

Malam tuh...kami buat tahlil utk arwah kaklong...

dalam kol 11 lebih..selesai semuanya...
kami berempat sekeluarga..(dulu berlima...) duduk sambil berbual2...
aku sempat bergurau...
"Abah..mlm nih mesti kaklong ada kat depan tuh...dia dtg lihat kita kan...nak tunggu lah.."
abah senyum jer...

Mak ngan abah cerita waktu kaklong nazak..mcm ner..

Masa tuh mak kta dia sihat jer...dalam kol 10 pg macm tuh..ayah sedara aku melawat akk aku..(Ayah cu ngan mak cu)...siap lambai2 lagi nak balik...

pastu..pas jer derang turun..
Akak aku kata kat abah..maafkan dia..kata kat mak...maafkan dia..
mintak maaf kat ijam dan nomi..
kaklong nak pegi jalan...

"Mak..kaklong nak pegi jalan.."
"Kaklong nak pegi mana?..dah sihat nnt kita g jalan2 k.."
"Kaklong nak jalan jauh..tapi jalan tuh nampak senang yer mak..."
"isk..kaklong..mengucap..baca 3 qul.."
Then mak aku ajar dia baca 3 qul..mengucap..ngan al-fatihah...
akak aku folo..wpon dah x baper clear..mak aku cerita..

then..akk aku kata dia semput..sesak nafas..mak aku dah panggil nurse dah...
dlm kol 10.30 mcm tuh...doktor datang...
doktor kata dah x lama nih makcik..then derang try laa..

Pastu..around kol 11.05..nadi dia stop..n disahkan meninggal...
mak aku kata cepat sngt...
x da nadi dia makin perlahan..nadi dia terus drop..0..

aku hanya mendengar ngan abang aku..aku tahu..bejam pon mesti giler sedih...
Abah aku kata dia terkejut tgk aku balik sorang..sbb dia pesan kat abg aku g amek aku...
(mana pernah abah aku bagi aku drive jauh sorang2..pling tidak mesti ada escort..)

Pastu sampai awal plaks...aku kata lah aku pecut...
"Kalo nomi sayangkan mak ngan abah lagi..jgn laa buat mcm tuh lagi tau..korang jerlah yg tinggal..."

aku diam..angguk jer...

Esoknyer pagi2 kol 8 aku balik ke maktab...aku bawak slow..80 km/hr jer...ahaha..5 jam drive..
giler kematu punggung..ahaha

Hmm...miss my sister so much...
Wlaupun aku dah kurang nangis...my voice still serak..
kadang2 aku masih menangis..
cuma aku cuba kuat depan kawan2 sumer..

gelak2..padahal..hati aku langsung not here..i dont want to be here..i want to be alone...
but i know i must recover..
yg pergi..tetap pergi..
kita yg hidup perlu teruskan hidup..

apapun..aku hanya boleh berdoa agar akk aku ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 beriman...

Al-fatihah..

[1] Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[2] Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang Memelihara dan Mentadbirkan sekalian alam.
[3] Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.
[4] Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari akhirat).
[5] Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.
[6] Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.
[7] Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.


Salam...

(Part 2) Innalillah utk Sofiahwati Mohamed Yusop...we will miss u every seconds..

Salam..

sambung balik cerita...

Aku pon g laa terus turun kat HEP..nak mintak pengecualian kuliah..for hari nih n tomorrow..

akk kerani tuh very supportive..aku..dah menggelabah dah actually...aku dah x tau nak fikir apa...

Aku ternampak ustaz Basil kat situ..aku kata lah..
"Asslamualaikum..ustaz..sy nak mintak pengecualian kelas hari nih. Saya kene balik ke KL sekarang jugak..kakak saya tgh nazak.."
Then ustaz tuh pon kata lah..ambil la borang tuh..kat depan..
Aku pon g laa kat kaunter depan tuh..n disitu aku x leh tahan..aku dah teresak2 dah nangis..
nak tulis borang pon tangan menggeletar..dalam hati hanya Allah swt jer tahu betapa aku nak suruh akak aku bertahan...jangan pergi dulu...

Then dia kata amek sign tutor ngan sign pengarah..pastu tinggal jer borang tuh kat situ..

Aku pon g lah english dept..tujuan aku nak carik Mr.Kamal..our tutor..tp dia x da..yg ada hanya lect Mr.Puven..so..aku pon mintak laa sign MR.Puven..

And as i can say..he is really concern and understanding..he even help me to write the reason in a proper way..coz aku pon dah blur nak tulis apa..and he say..be carefull balik tuh...jangan drive laju2..

After saying thanks to him..i rushed to bilik pengarah..tp 2-2 pon x da..pengarah n timbalan pengarah..

aku tunjuk laa kat Akk. x tau nama (PA pengarah)....boleh x aku tinggalkan surat tuh kat sini...aku kata pengecualian aku hari ni..n pada hari tuh..aku sngt nak memarahi sungguh dept IPTB nih..really!!!

Aku tau aku x patut..tp hr tuh aku dah ter'curse' derang..ahahaha...yer aa...ngan akk PA tuh..dia kata kalo nak hari nih penegcualian..kene dptkan sign sekarang jugak..Timbalan pun tgh g minum..

"Boleh x saya tunggu sini.." Aku masih senyum lagik time tuh..
tp dengan muka kerek dia..."Eh, timbalan tuh minum x tau balik bila..lepas dia balik la awk dtg balik"

"Tp saya emergency nih..saya kene balik sekarang jugak..x boleh ker saya tinggal jer surat nih kat sini..nnt saya balik, saya ambil balik.."

"Eh, apa pulak..awak gi try tanya HEP mcm ner.."

Aku pun tension..aku pon g balik HEP..tanya mcm ner nak sign tuh..then Ustz.Basil tgk laa surat aku tuh..

and to my shock..he said something that really2 nak buat aku tumbuk dia..

"Awak tahu x..sebagai pelajar..awak patutnya x leh dapat cuti. belaja lagi penting dr tgk org sakit nih. Nie saya bg pon sebab ehsan jer. (and adalah lg ayat2 hadis dia ntah..fi sabilillah laa..)"

Hey..my sister is dying..n ko nak ckp ngan aku psl benda nih semua..cerah kat aku psl belaja laa..aku dah laa nak balik nih..ko lagging2 kan aku..ko tuh dah laa ustaz..cuba famili ko yg mati???...ko mesti nak balik gaks kan?? Im so mad at that moments but as i respected him more..(but now x respect langsung dah..)..aku hanya diam jer..

Then dia kata g jer anta kat PA pengarah tuh..tinggal jer..tp sy nak awak bg bukti bahawa apa awk ckp nih betul...n dia nak aku esok2 pagi dah ada kat maktab...meaning aku hanya dpt pengecualian pada hari rabu tuh jer..(WTH???)

Aku angguk2 jela...im rushing...aku terus anta jer kat PA tuh.."HEP suruh tinggal jer borang tuh kat sini..terima kasih kak"

aku pon blah terus...x pandang akk kerek tuh langsung..n aku teurs naik ke kelas..nak amek beg.

And in class..Mr. Raja dah ada dalam tuh...i was at my phone at that moment..and trus aku g arah dia n cakap "Sir..i need to get back to KL rite now..my sister is dying"..
And he stunned..and ask.."How r u going back?"

"Im driving sir.."
"Do you think that is the fastest way to get back?"
"Then?..what do u think sir? By Air Asia?.." me smiling..still joking at that moments..but really my head wasnt thinking at all..
"Then..drive carefully..dont let ur emotions overcome u.."
"Oke sir. Bye all"

Then aku terus balik ke rumah...unlocked the house..take some things..and starts the engine..
leaves the house key to our neighbour..
and call my bf..
"Sayang..kaklong dah nazak...org nak balik KL nih.."
"Ha?..oke2..Ayg drive baik2 k.."

deshum..100 km/hr in campus..ahaha...wasnt thinking dear..
Pastu kat gate..since it is almost 1 pm..(giler aa nak uruskan semua..from 10.30 to almost 1.00 pm br leh settel..)

Nampak pakcik jaga misai tuh.."Pakcik..sy dah dapat pengecualian dah.."
"Dah?..oke.."

Aku terus drive balik..
aku singgah at RnR Gng. Semanggol....utk isi minyak...(which my bro dah masukkan duit..alhamdulillah..thanks Bejam..)

Pas tuh..aku terus pecut balik...n my bf call me..he said that he is also going to my home..asks me my add..which i know he knows..ehehe..
masa tuh aku dah x nak layan dia sngt..(well...im panic..n my focus is my sister n home jer..)
Well..at that moments...itulah masa yg paling ditakuti oleh aku..

still remember his sms..
"Syg tunggu kat umah tau..jgn drive laju2 sngt.."

aku reply (sori..wpon tahu tgh drive..tp sms masih wajib..nak tau new news...)
"eh..naper nak tunggu umah? g jer la kat spital tuh.."

then he reply..
"Aik..x kan kat spital lagi? Kan along dah x da? x bwk balik umah lagi ker? "

As i read that sms...i can feel that my hands is shaking..my heartbeat became faster...
terus aku col dia..dah x da helo2 dah..
"mana tau? sapa bgtau? jgn main2? betul ke?" I was shouting in my car..shouting n crying..still my car speed was 160 km/hr...

"dah2..bawak kete tuh elok2...x da pe.." he said..

"Cakap betul2!!!...betul ker??? Cakap!! " i shouted at him..my tears keep falling..i just cant bear it..

"Yer..syg col abah tadi...cakap kaklong dah x da..."
"Bila??"
" kol 11 lebih tadi..Dah..jgn bwk laju2.."

Then after that..aku terus letak phone..x kata apa dah...just carik no phone Kak Husna..(she knows bout my sis..)
"Akak...kaklong dah x da...derang tipu org...kaklong dah x da.." as i cried...i just cant stop crying..
"Arfah kat mana nih?..dah2..berhenti2...berhenti tepi jalan tuh..bertenang..jagan bawak laju2..hati2.."
"ha..ha..oke.." then i disconnect it..

Aku menangis...sambil drive...rasa mcm nak bg hi beam kat sumer kenderaan yg ada jer..tepi2...aku nak cepat...

baru jer aku cakap dalam hati.."kaklong..bertahan..tunggu nomi..jgn pergi dulu.." n i was too late...

I drove as fast as i can..but i know i drive safely...since i manage to arrive safely at home..around 3.15 pm..
(around 1 pm - 3.15 pm back from penang to kl)

(Part 1) Innalillah utk Sofiahwati Mohamed Yusop...we will miss u every seconds..

Salam...
As i am typing this blog..im crying...i still cant recover from it..

My lovely loved, funny, understanding, hardworking, kind sister has gone from this world.

She has been admitted to the hospital and diagnosed from cervical cancer on 1st June 2009..and has been gone through the chemo and radio treatments until 9th September starts from Pusrawi, to General Hospital and last was Subang Jaya Medical Centre.

Sofiahwati, kaklong saya yang sangat baik..yang sanggup berkorban utk kami sekeluarga..masih lagi muda untuk meninggalkan kami..she is only 32 years old..unmarried..

Alhamdulillah dia sakit x lama...bulan 6 sakit..awal bln 10 dah pergi..dalam 4 bulan jer..penderitaan yang sekejap..n kaklong pergi dengan tenang..mcm mak ngan abah cerita..

masih lagi teringat masa aku mengurut2 kaki kaklong...sambil kata nasihat kat dia..
"Kaklong kene kuat semangat..kaklong masih muda..byak lagi benda boleh buat..nomi nak kaklong sihat..kita jalan2..yang penting kaklong sihat, makan.." and now she's gone..

i still can see her smile..laughing..talking to us...it's hard when u r not ready to accept that she is leaving..

Abah kata.." Kesian abah tgk kaklong tuh..kalo Allah nak ambik dia pun..ambillah..dr dia sakit mcm tuh..kita redha dan terima jelah.."

and...aku mesti akan membalas.."ishk..abah nih..kaklong akan sihat..panjang lagi umur kaklong tuh...kita doakan bagi dia sihat.."

and i still cant believe that she is gone..

masih ingat lagi..

pagi Rabu, 7 Oktober 2009..pukul 10.30 pagi..bejam col..
"Ada x mak tepon cakap apa2 kat nomi? "
"x dapun..aa..ada..bejam nak dtg butterworth minggu depan?"
"Bukan...hmm..kaklong dah nazak..mak suruh balik.."
"HAH???!! apa??? bila? sekarang? oke2!"
"Abah suruh amek nomi, tapi jauh sngt..nomi balik sendiri laa leh x?"
"Oke2..tp bejam kene masukkan duit sket..x cukup nak balik..nomi mintak cuti skrg gak..oke"


hmm..i have no mood nak sambung..x leh tahan sedih....
lewat2 malam sambung balik...

missing her so much...
Al-Fatihah

minggu terakhir ramadhan...

Salam Ramadhan kawan2...

hm..tinggal lagi dalam baper hari jer nak abis puasa nih..
dah nak meninggalkan ramadhan..dan akan tibalah bulan syawal..

observed aku dah abis dah ngan k.husna..

tinggal minggu terakhir nih nak siapkan mural jer..
aku nak upload byk sngt gambar..
but hr tuh kete aku kene pecah..beg aku ilang..n in that bag, akunyer sony cable nak transfer file..jd tuh yg slow nak transfer nih..

eh..aku tgh basuh kain..ehee
nnt sambung k..

bubye..salam..

(p/s: aku kat kl..esok balik bkt merah lagik ler..)

dah sabtu..esok ahad...lusa isnin???...argh!!!

Salam...

based on the title above..
nampak sngt aku mcm x berminat nak balik..nak dok umah...
dah bes dok umah seminggu..opps...to be exect, 10 days...huhuhu...

hmm..same like azzah...im in no mood of doing all the prac works...sib baiklah our lect x tau link blog nih, if tau..abis kne punya...huhuhu

malas laa..journal pon x wat lagik...rph pon sama gaks...huhuhu...
bilalah nak rajin..ehhee..i know, when tomorrow is schools day, i will be rajin..eheh..becoz of our lovely, charming n kind (truthfully tau) Mr.Raja is comeing, along wif En.Raja (our minor lect) in the upcoming week...mestilah kne siapkan sumer2 nih..huhuuhh...


td siang g shopping wif mum, my sis in law, my bro n his son, aqeef..
my sis ngan abah dok umah...he's taking care of my sis...

so..beli kasut, baju raya (siti nurhaliza u...ehehe) n tudung..murah jer...coz my aunts buy it for us..eeheh..

so..apa jer..hmm...malasnyer hari2 nak balik nih..sedey laaa
nak dok umahhh...
akk husna...x yah balik nak?
huhuhu....

harap2 this is the last derang both nak dtg, n im surely know that En.Raja last dtg...sbb minor 2 kali jer..

tp Mr.Raja dtg seken last kot...
utk penilaian bersama ngan kak Shita..huhuhu

doakan kami..
lgpon aku kne mengajar diff class plaks...kelas 4 Arif...huhu...lain silibus plaks nnt...lain pendekatan..huhuh

okeh laaa...

Salam..

to sakurapink...

waa..byknyer puppets bawak ker?..
huhu..mr.raja ada gak citer psl puppets tuh..
then i asked him to lend me his..
but he said..u can buy a car..then a puppet should be cheaper to u..
ahahahha...apa nak buat..
ada gaks hr tuh tgk puppets..kat tesco seb jaya adakan?

beli situ ker? ehehhe...

nak buat lagu nih yg lemah nih...huhuhu...
hmm...will try..

thanks 4 all the advises..huhu..
kne menuntut lagik nih...

maklumlah..sy mmg lemah...huhu..
x pon bdk2 sini x suka nyanyi..ahahhaa

Ramadhan datang lagi...

Salam..
selamat menyambut kedatangan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak...

tahun nih ramadhan mcm biasa..cume x seceria n meriah mcm lepas2..
yg beshnyer dah ada anak buah yg comel..ehehe
tp thn nih sengkek sket...huhu..
duit raya pon x leh bagi byk2 kat cousins yg conet2 nih..
kene bagi ala2 bajet..ahaha

aku..baju kurung pon x beli kain lagik..ala..bila lah gamaknyer nak beli kain nih?..huhu

nak kuar pon partner x da...
akk aku dah x leh kuar dah..huhu..nak g ngan mama pon x leh...dia kne dok umah jaga my sis..
nak kuar sorang2 malas..nak jalan area kl nih if naik public..boleh lagik lah..but to drive a car..
kompom aku sesat..ahahahha

opps..
selamat menyambut ramadhan n happy holiday to my iptb's frenz...ehehe
cuti2 jugak..
rph jgn lupa..ahahahha

huhu..talking bout rph..aka lesson plan..
me n azzah ada stori mori..huhu
but later lah in my other posts...ehehe..mls nak upload pic...

hmm..apa ek yg x buat lagik..owh..
tag from azzah..n..
a quest to sakurapink...

how u handle a class?...mr.raja said that i should learn from u..
huhu...help me sakurapink...
tasukete...

later u tell ek..ehehe
bubye..daa
salammmzzz...

di SJMC...

Salam..
aku br jer pas makan lunch kat spital nih..
now my sis dah pindah ker SJMC (Subang Jaya Med Centre)..coz sini ada sumr treatments yg dia perlukan..

hr nih akkk aku dah recover dah sket...
dah bleh jalan2 dah...dah x da tube2 dah kat badan dia..
so..alhamdulillah..

aku balik nih mmg nak g tgk2 famili jer..
x da rancang2 nak g dating pown..

well...to tell the truth..
i do have some1 now in my life..

n..still masih mengenali si dia..
hopefully this relationship can be happy ending..

okeh laa..esok nak balik bkt merah plaks...
miss my famili...dah jumper dah nih..okeh laa..ehehe

salam..

Class Management

Salam..

Smlm aku mengalami hari yg sangat tensi..
klas mngt aku mmg horror..
ahaha..what to do...

byk aku mintak tunjuk ajar dr akak2 yg byk pengalamn dlm mengajar...

byk yg aku terima..sumer mcm ala2 d forbid jer jer..huhuhu

kne wat okeh2 la...
td aku tuka kedudukan dalam kelas..
aku pesan murid2 sumer..time aku masuk..
sumer kne dok tmpt yg telah aku tetapkan..

aku asingkan derang bkn dgn kawan2 sbb kalo x...
super duper hyper bising lah derang jwbnyer..
huhuhu

dah laa dlm klas thn 2 amanah..ada murid yg suka mengamuk..
means..kalo d ejek2..
dia akan baling2 kusi..meja..
sib baik aku dah tahu cara handle..
kne lagik tegas..bg dia takut..

okeh laa...aku nak g makan dulu..
dah kelas deret2...

Salam..

Hey...Mr Raja...ehehe..

Salam..

hari nih aku ngan k.Husna dilawat oleh Mr. Raja..our lec supervisor...

ehehe...okeh laa jugak komen dia...x lah teruk sngt...ehehe..kira okeh la jugak..

will i make a new step in my life?...i dont know....huhuhu..
hari nih ngantuk..ada kelas muzik..aku dok buat lesson x sempat sampai ke bg latihan...sib baik k.Husna masuk relief klas 2...so..aku leh cntinue kelas tu..bg latiha..pass kat k.Husna..macih naa..:)

okeh la...nnt tulis..batt nak blink blink dah nih..ehehe

bubye..salam..

Home..sweet home..

Salam..
skrg kat umah...
jap lagi around kol 4 nak balik dah..
esok dah start mengaja plaks tuh..huhuhu..
seram..mcm nak kene beli fail jer..around 3 files..huhuhu..
nak kne wat lesson plan lagik..huhu...seram2 la plaks..huhu

bertenang..dub..dab..dub..dab..

nak masuk kelas 2 Arif nih..

opps..lupe nak bgtau..
me aja subj

English : 2 Arif (bijak sket..but nakal gaks tuh)
2 Amanah (super nakal sngt nih)

Muzik : 3 Arif (plng ramai murid dlm sek , 44 org pelajar)

tuh jer..huhu..sib baik x aja notes muzik..ahaha..aja lagu2 ngan aja basic notes jer..perkusi..krochet..apa lagik ek..
opps..guitar ada yg nak aja..but..bila nak aja pon x tahu..
okeh laa..ari rabu still kene pakai baju uniform..huhu..
dah oter sket baju tuh..boleh laa..
okeh..see u bila ada masa nnt..

Salam...

update : my sis condition..still not well..lambatnyer next treatments..huhu..
ganbatte!!!

balik sehari jer...

Salam..

nak balik hari nih...
skrg tgh masa sekolah..wpon hari sabtu gaks...

sat tgh hari nak balik..huhu...x saba nak balik..
yeye..tp hari ahad nak balik balik dah...
jumpa hari sabtu ngan ahad sekejap jela..ehehe

bubye..salam.

X da connection!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salam..
argh!!...sini x da connection!!!...
aku leh online kat sek jer..susah aa mcm nih..sedey2..huuhuhu

okeh laa...nih pon batt dah blink2..ehehe
lupa nak charge smlm..
hahaha..oke...
bubye..salam

SK Bukit Merah..here i come!!!

Salam..

huhu..hari nih baru nak packing...
malasnyer nak packing..don wan to leave my famili..my bed..my room..my coziness here...huhuhu

huhu..x start packing pown nih...nak balik kol 10.30 jap g..ahaha
sempat lagi masuk blog..ahaha

okeh..sambung pack..
jumpa d Bkt Merah..
bubye...

home..

Salam..

tinggal lg 2 hari (including 2day) aku dok umah...huhuhu..

apa ek sepanjang cuti nih aku dok spital...
adalah dlm 19 hari kot...huhuhu...

so..aku kne start kemas barang sket2 dah nie..
mlm td..aku mimpi mengajar..huhuhu...horror sngt...
murid2 mcm blur jer...ker aku yg x mahir mengajar...eheheh...

InsyaAllah..berkat doa family, aku..n usaha utk berbakti pd ank bangsa (aceewaaah..)..aku akan try my besh...ehehe..

skrg nih aku dok umah..ngan mak ngan my sis (she's sleeping)....
mlm nih start kemas ler...
alahai..nih yg malas nih..menegemas brg2..apa ek nak bawak?...
Kak Husna....apa akk bawak ek?..mai habaq sket..ehehe..

oke lah..xtau nak tulis apa..ehe..
oke..salam..

Waiting..

Salam..

skrg nih aku tgh tunggu akk aku di discharged dr hospital nih...
Lama la plaks..dia dah setel treatments dia kol 4 ptg td..skrg dah kol 6 dah nih..brg2 dah siap packing cuma my sis x tuka baju lagik..so aku pon sementara tunggu tuh bkk la nb nih and tulis ler apa yang patut.

truthfully...i don't feel like i'm ready to go for practicum..tatooottt....huhuhuh
lebih2 lagik...ngan high expectations dr lect2 ngan guru2 ngan parents sumer..huhuhu..takut sngt..

kalo masa belaja tuh kita bleh lagik buat slow2...ikut suka sket..ubah2 sket activity...but now its real teaching..berdebar sngt..
mebi on 1st week pon dah kne mengajar..toshio??...huhuhu..

Harap2..sumer will go smoothly...hopefully..
Wish me luck guys..as i'am scared...

bubye..take care..daa

A journey...

Salam..

Dalam pada aku berada sepanjang 3 minggu kat Pusrawi nih...
aku masih ada masa utk g SK Bukit Merah utk mencarik umah sewe..

Akk Husna col aku tanya..g hari Jumaat leh x sek tuh..coz dia col sek tuh, derang kata datang ler sekolah..so..aku pon setelah tanya parents aku, aku pon agree laa nak g on friday.

Aku di hantar oleh abah ke RnR Sg Buloh..sbb g ngan kete 'abe' Kak Husna..eheheh..so bertolak dlm kol 7.30 pagi. Supposed g lagik awal..kol 7, but abah aku lambat antar..so K.Husna have to wait for me to arrived..sian dia..Sowie ek akk...huhu...

So, kami bertolak la ke sana...dlm on da way tuh..2 kali berenti coz donno y my stomach sakit sngt..huhu..toilet memanggil2 plaks...ehehe..mebi bcoz aku minum air melo ais pagi2 lagik kot..(melo dlm kotak k..).

So..drive2..share2 stori ngan k.Husna dlm kete..siap menyanyi lagu margerine Daisy lagik..ahaha "Lebih rasa mentega..itulah marjerin Daisy.."..gilo kot kami nih...ahahaha..panjang aa citer..apa wat sepanjang cuti..well for me mostly just sleeping eating in the Hospital..ehehe..

So, kuar exit Taiping Utara..sapa ek..yg kata situ lagk dekat..eheheh..then k.Husna col kawan dia yg blaja kat bukit merah Nursing school tuh..tanya mana arah nak g sana. Sib baik dia yg tunjuk jalan ke sana..thanks ek. Sampai jugak kami ke sana..around kol 11.45 pagi sampai.

Jumpa laa GPK 1 sek tuh..cikgu2 yg datang..x lah ramai sngt..ada dlm 32 org guru, murid dlm 400++..but 1 thing...sek tuh, again..x da Pengakap..huhu..mcm ner nih??...aku nak join apa ek?..join KRS ler..huhu..

Then, borak2 sket..dia tanya psl subj apa mengajar..bila kami bgtau kami ngajar english ngan muzik..dia kata.."Alhamdulillah...tuh yg kami tungu2 tuh.." aku ngan k.Husna pandang sesama sendiri..dah start cuak dah..huhu..alamak..expectation jgn laa tinggi sngt..kami nie newbie lagik..ahahaa.

:: SK Bukit Merah ::

:: luar SK Bukit Merah ::

Pastu yg beshnyer..sek tuh ada kelab Bowling, memanah ngan apa ek..lupa sat..ehehe..Nowling tuh yg excited tuh..ehehe...tp mana derang main ek?..nak join bleh?..ehehe.
About rumah sewe tuh, Kak Miah (GPK 1) kata jgn risau..derang tlng carikkan..alhamdulillah...
Dok ngan cikgu sek tuh jugak..dia dok berdua ngan anak dia..so kira tumpang lah kot..

So, on da way balik tuh...singgah kat RnR Bukit Semanggol makan lunch..lapaq giler dah aku..ehehe...then, singgah kat RnR Tapah kot..makan eskrem Baskin Robin..

Ahaha...kat situ ada tragedi..ehehe..

:: Pistachio Almond + Mint Choco Chip ::

kat situ..masa masuk la kat dlm tuh...adik kaunter tanya K.Husna..nak perasa apa..then dia katalah kat k.Husna.."boleh rasa kalo nak akk"..pastu dia bg k.Husna sorang jer rasa..aku nih berdiri terkebil2 jer..
woo..ingat aku x nak beli aa nih..padahal..dah teringin lama nak makan pistachio almond tuh...huhuhu..
Then..kak husna nih pon beli aa 2 scoop eskrim..pastu aku kata lah kat adik tuh.."nak 2 scoop gaks ek"..then dia pandang aku...dia tambah 1 sudu kat eskrim kak husna.."aku ngan kak husna pandang sesama sendiri..pastu gelak..x leh tahan..aiyo..aku kata 2 scoops..bkn 2 spoon..huhuhu..dah laa aku panggil adik tuh dia wat deek jer..
agaknyer kaunter eskrem tuh tinggi sngt kot sampai aku dia x nampak..huhuhu...

so..kak husna pon kata kat adik tuh, tunjuk aku pon nak beli gaks..barulah dia mcm tersedar..ahaha...pas2..ktorng makan laa dlm kedai sambil gelak2 teingat balik yg 2 scoops n 2 spoons td..ahaha...

Pas2 since kak husna nak g johor...dia dropped aku kat tg malim..so..kne nek komuter kat situ..balik ke kl..aku dah berdebar coz aku baru 2nd time nek komuter nih..bukan mahir sngt pown..huhu..
so..kak husna terangkan kat aku..naik sini, turun rawang utk tuka train ke Kl sentral..coz aku kne g arah titiwangsa..abah amek kat situ...

So..aku pon nek laa ke arah Rawang...past2 g tuka tren ke arah KL Sental..(ingat nak tanya ada org tuh..skali dia plak tanya aku.."nek yg nie ker nak g KL Sentral?"..aku plaks yg mcm "ye rasernyer"..dlm hati risau gaks kalo salah..sib baik aa betol..ehehe...alhamdulillah..kalo x..aku pon bawk derang sesat gaks..ahahaha..

So..aku pon turun KL Sental..then nek Monorail ke arah titiwangsa...abah dah tunggu situ...
Situ aku terus direct ke Hospital...so...my rutin..again same as usual..ehehe

tuh jelah nak citer pown..ehehe..

Apa2 pon..insyaAllah my sis akan discharge hari nih..and continue her treatments on July..
hopefully she will recover bit by bit..

InsyaAllah..

huhu...ari ahad nih nak balik dah sana..
SK Bukit Merah..here i come..
n guitar..still i havent learn yet..huhhu..blaja2 arfah...

bubye..Salam

hospital...again..and again..huhuhu

Salam..
my sis have been committed again to the hospital...
I will be with her through this whole week...

hopefully she will have the strength...

Pray for her..
InsyaAllah..

Tuesday...

Salam...
hr nih my sis dah discharged from Pusrawi...
she have to go for a regular treatments in HKL after this..

hopefully she can recover..

really2 hope that she will recover mentally and physically...not to forget..her psychology...ehehe

Now we all at home...at last...

Take care..salam...

heart...

Salam...

heart?...i don't know what it wants...

im confused....huhuhu...

what should i do..huhuhuhu (again?..:) )

hmm...

till 2 weeks b4 going to school...huhuhu..scared yet excited..ehehe..

nih about my practicum school..we have changed our school from SK Kuak Luar, Pengkalan Hulu to...SK Bukit Merah..coz the Kuak Luar been taken by IPSAH...

the add :

SK BUKIT MERAH

PEKAN BUKIT MERAH
34310 BUKIT MERAH,
BAGAN SERAI.
Perak
Malaysia


:: pic from far..by panoramio ::

It's a long week...

salam...

dah seminggu aku dok sini..opps..to be exect, 8 days here in Pusrawi Hospital...

my sis is recovering from her illness...but she need to be transfered to GH (General Hospital aka Hospital Kuala Lumpur)...for further treatments...

hope she can recover...
and i hope that i can be patient...take care and understand her conditions...huhuhu
Allah..please give me, we and her strength...

InsyaAllah...

Night at the Hospital...

Salam..
aku hari nih masih berada di hospital Pusrawi jalan tun razak...ala..kat area2 IJN, Pustakaan Negara tuh...
Y am i here?..it is not becoz of me who is under treatments...but my sister is. Right now, she is in the Operation room..and im here wif my mom in the waiting room. She's been there for about 1 hr and a half..

Last night, i was with her in her room , ward As-saadah room no 13..ehehe..i know 13 sounds scary in the hollywood classic horror movies..ehehehe...but it's fine..except that im having a neck ache since i have to sleep on a chair...but it was a'okay....She is my sister..my only sister..so..i have to take care of her..and of course she will do the same for me when the same thing happens to me rite?

Well. about my sister sickness..i dont want to tell to any of u guys..ehehe..no laa..i just dont like to tell any1..let her tell if she wants to..ehehe..

Oke..just pray for her wellness..and recover soon...hopefully..InsyaAllah...
I think i will be here for the whole weeks...
i'll update her conditions here from time to time oke?...oke..bubye..take care all...

salam...

hari terakhir sem...Gud Luck Guys 4 Practicum!!!

Semalm hari terakhir sem..besh nyer!!..ada perhimpunan pagi..perhimpunan hari terakhir sem..kol 7.45 start..tp aku ngan k.husna sampai dlm kol 8..eheh..mlm td tdo lambat sbb packing nak balik dah..pas perhimpunan nak balik dah..besh!!..

Pastu d ceramah motivasi oleh lect, en Eow..pasal disiplin..ahaha..sbb kami sumer lewat lah tuh..
pastu ada ceramah pasal global warming..ngan persembahan dr adik2 pismp pengajian melayu pasal kemerdekaan...tp mcm peliks sket pasal bln 5..ehehe...tunggu bln 8 ek dik..:D

pastu...ada ceramah sket dr en Awang Lokey...pasal praktikum (i know..nama dia peliks sket)..kami nih punyalah mengantuk..penat sbb smlm tdo lambat..pastu bangun awal..ko 2 tdo..kol 5.30 bangun..pastu hari nih nak drive balik plaks tuh..huhuhu...aku risau gaks sbb nak balik sorang2 nih wpon drive ngan k.husna..huhuhu...

opps..lupa nak bgtau..hari khamis, kami sumer g makan ramai2 kat Pizza Hut..special delivery...ehe..sbb Akash, vege. So..kami sumer dpat tahu yg kelas ptg tuh..klas psikologi n klas practicum kesel..apalagik..terus lah makan llunch..
Jumpa kat Sunway Carnival..aku sempat tuka baju..ehehe..aku nak berpakaian baju kurung berjalan2??...huhuhu..sngt susah laa...huhuhu..hilang lah macho aku..ahahaha..poyo lah arfah..


:: tunggu makanan ::

kami sumer makan pizza..besh..suasana yg besh..seronok jer..hilang tensi..


:: makan2...jemput2..::


:: pedang garfu ::


:: kami sumer TESL KPLI PI/MT/MU IPTB 09 ::

pastu aku ngan k.husna ngan intan g karaoke kt atas sunway tuh..amp apatah nama dia..reger student 5 hinggit 3 jam..
masuk2 bilik tuh...tmpt duduk dia cozy sngt..tv..lcd screen 32 inch...giler gedabak..huhuhu...pastu dia bg minum free..aku ode air mineral jer..sbb nak menyanyi kan..ehee
masuk kol 2.50..kuar kol 5.50..mmg havoc nyanyi..sampai dah x da suara dah..

kami nyanyi dr lagu pop..ke lagu rock..ke lagu nasyid tuh...(dlm karaoke??)...aahahha
sampai dah kering suara tuh..suara pown serak..ahaha

patu balik..g makan...kemas barang..ahaha

then..sambung balik cerita hari jumaat...ehehe

pastu pas kemas2 masuk barang2 dlm bag..around kol 2.30 baru bertolak dr iptb..aku ngan k.husna bawak biasa2 jer..aku dah janji nak folo kete dia dari belakang..ehehe...tp x lah slow pon..kami rempit dlm 120 jer..tp kadang2 tuh over limit gaks aa coz time aku nak potong tuh laa..ada kete folo dekat..nak x nak kene speed gaks laa...sampai 140..sib baik kete berat..byk barang..kalo x..mau mcm nak terbang jer...ahaha

pastu kami singgah makan sat kt sg perak n tapah sbb aku nak g toilet..ahahaha
pastu...akk husna msg aku kata dia nak masuk lebuhraya guthrie..so..dia tanya aku "okeh x sorang2 nih?"

aku pon dgn bangga pon menjawab " oke"...dgn tanpa kerisauan..tp di situlah bermulanya..kesesatan...huhuhuhu.....mlm yg menakutkan..aahaha

aku pon kuarlah exit kepong, sg buloh..pastu aku folo lah signboard...tp ntah man tang aku silap pon x perasan..aku mcm x jumpa pon kepong...
dorm-mate aku bgtau, masuk exit tuh..straight jer...sampai kuar kat bt caves..aku x jumpa pon..masuk2 jalan dia mcm jalan pekan koboi jer..ahaha..
aku dah cuak..aku col k.husna..tanya dia...dia kata aku dah salah tuh..tuh nak hala k.slangor..aku col mmg aku..bdk kepong..tanya dia..dia pon kata ikut arah kuang..


:: sempat lagik amek pic dr dlm kete...::

pastu aku nmpk signboard hiway..k.husna kata amek hiway ke arah klia..pastu aku terlepas masuk hiway..dah..lg cuak aku..dah la malam pulak tuh..huhuhu...minyak aku dah berklip2 dah tanda nak abis..huhuhu..aku dah la x kenal jalan nih..mana nak cari stetsen petronas..
sapa2 yg col aku tanya psl aku pon aku dah x nak layan sngt..tanya jer.."ntah..x tahu"..huhuhuhu...aku dah resah..cuak..mcm nak nangis pon ada..(actually dah mengalir pown..ahahah)..

sib baik lah aku ternampak petronas...tp x jumpa jalan nak ke sana..sbb dia x leh u-turn..huhuhu..aku dah giler resah gelisah...huhuhu...pastu sib baik ada round about..aku pon patah balik ke arah petronas dgn harapan..jgnlah ko berenti sblom sampai ke station tuh...
sib aku sngt baik jer..alhamdulillah...selamat sampai...n aku pon isilah minyak..isi byk2 sket..incase aku sesat lagik..
pastu aku just folo signboard..hiway kl..akhirnya sampai jugak...huhuhuhu...aku keluar kat hiway yg dr arah sg buluh...td kire aku round dalam bndr sg buloh...pj..subang..manalah aku terlepas nih...huhuhu

pastu aku amek lebuhraya duke..sbb aku tau situ leh tempbus mpai sentul..sib baik lah...aku selamat sampai..
mlm tuh sampai..aku angkut barang..then mandi..tido terus..huhuhu...

skrg aku tgh bercuti...selama 3 minggu...dok lah rumah..now abg ngan kak ita ngan aqeef ada kat sini...ehehe..ada budak comey..