Saturday, October 31, 2009

25 days has gone..


It has been 25 days since my sister has passed away..

n it still feels like yesterday that i've met to her..laugh and share secrets..

Sometimes i still can't accept that she has gone a better place..InsyaAllah..

Yesterday, me and my friends went out to eat at a food court in Perda. it reminds me of going out with her, gone eating together where she used to treats me Pizza Hut, Kenny Rogers, nasi campur..which ever i want to eat..she will always fulfill my appetite.

Reminds me whenever like to eat something special...i smile, grin.."Kaklong..ehehe..nak makan mcD leh?..long blanjer ek..ehehe"..then she always sigh..but still say "Yelah..kaklong blanjer"..even sometimes she don't have enough money..she always find a way to keep me happy n help me whenever i needed. She is my motivations..

There are many secrets i've told her..and same with her..many secrets that she had told me. Let me keep it a secret. Whenever i come back from IPTB or from MMU (studied there), sometimes i slept with her..share stories with her..whenever i go back..i always going out with her..balik jumaat mlm sampai umah...sabtu kuar dari pagi sampai malam..until my father complaint "baik x yah balik, serupa mcm x balik jer.." She is my only friend, partner, my girlfriend. Everything have been thought and planned wif her it has to be change. How am i going to adapt to this situations?..

She is also my legs..i'm lost without her..i just don't know how to drive in KL..the all seems so lost without her. I've seldom drive in KL since after finished study..keje pon abah hantar..then moved to there for almost 1 year (tahu jln N9 jer..)..then here in Penang..then in Bukit Merah..when i was able to ronda2 KL by driving?...huhuhu..

She was the one who knows all the roads, the shops, and how to get to a place in KL..she remember almost the roads there..since she stayed in KL too long..ehehe..she studied near KL..(im in Malacca)..

Sofiahwati Mohamed lovely sister..

I love you, miss you, and i will always pray for every solat that i did..i will never forget your name..i just want you to be blessed, and do wait for all of us to be reunite again...when the time has come.

I really love you..still i remember all your words..and moreover we have almost similar voice...

Kaklong, there are so many things that we wish to do together, but now left only me to fulfill all your wishes..And i will try my best to fulfill it as it will be my wishes now.

Bila fikir balik..there are so many things that shows that she will leave us..So many signs..

Let me tell one of the signs..

Last year, on month of december..when she bought me this lappy..she already told me that this will be my last birthday presents from her..and although it wasn't really meant that way by her..but we never know..that coincidence sometimes can be a reality..when i remember makes me cry..again..

Then there was a time we both cried thinking of our future, when she was still under treatments in SJMC..she told me how hard to get her strength to fight her sickness..she told me it is so hard and sometimes she not able to hold it anymore. I always asked her to keep her strength, remember us, remember Allah SWT..we love you..we still need you..don't just give up..we just don't care even we have to take care you for our whole life..we just want you to survive. But Allah SWT love her more...don' want her to suffer. At least i'm happy she died with mom and dad by her side..di pangkuan abah. I know my parents still hard to believe that she's gone..same with me..her stuff still in the same place. My mom gives some of her belongings to me and Kak Ita, my aunts.

Hmm..can't write about her makes me cry..but i just can't cry here..have to control strong Arfah!! week dah nak exam..then nak KISSM plaks..

Supposedly..bln 12 and my sister dah planned to buy things for my wedding later on...but now with who am i going to buy all the things?..friends?..they also have some other plans..surely they just can't accompany me each time i want to buy's old already..she can't walk too cousins? cousins are far in kampung..yg dekat2 sumer sekolah2 rendah lost..x pa lah..i just do what i can..

okeh laa..keep salahkan diri sendiri je la..selama nih x berdikari..always thinking that my sis will be there for me each time i need her..always thinks that people died when they get old..never thought that they can easily gone even we are not ready..

Same with my childhood friend...Noradila bt Mohd Zawawi..died in car crash..she still so young..same age as me..26

Still remember her talks..she is so talkative, helpful..she always borrow my comic books..and said that, if i don't want it anymore, give it to her. Ahaha...still remember when she go to school with 'kunyit' on her face. We asked what is that for?..her answered it is for pimples..ehehe..naper laa x pakai kat umah jer..y pakai kat sekolah..ehehe..she is so funny, helpful, happy, talkative, a good friends,,and always remember to send us kad raya each year, invite us to her open house..even she have moved to Kajang..she still keep in touch with us..we will remember you dearly Dila..

Remember our group..

Izza, Shay, Sarah, Arfah, Dila, Zainina, Baizura...

Hmm...miss all of u guys..can we see each other?



naematul.ismail said...

salam cikpah.
continuously reading about ur sis.
just be strong and sedekahkan yasin bilasaja teringatkan dia.dia pasti tenang disana.
Allah akan jemput kita xkira berapa umur kita kan.semua kena ready ke arah tu.

wah.dah nk wat majlis.i'm willing to accompany u ;) nak pi nilai,singgah amek ai kat bangi okay :)

semoga roh akak cikpah tenang disana.jangan sedih2 okay.

:: Mily :: said...

thanks naem..mmglah..every day mesti akan baca..kecuali kalo kesuntukan masa...huhu..